Feels Like Blisters In My Throat

L'iPad del SuperBimbominkia

- NOTICE -

Post unnecessarily vulgar

(yes, more than usual)

Prerequisite: "SuperBimbominkia" (hereafter SBM) is a " bimbominkia " which has increased from time the period of adolescence but is still being battered the c * ZZO.

Examples: SBM that is justified by a vote Berlusconi: "... and who else is there?". It is what it says: "The Toyota Prius is a mmerda" and then cursing at Easter when the increase of petrol for the SUV (SUV has a Korean used by € 12 thousand shares just that with Cayenne consumption). It is what it says that musulmani_fanno_schifo _al_ca * zo and in Italy bisogna_essere_tutti_cristi * ni therefore to stress his belief seasons the rest of the talk with several Porco_D * o * nes and Puttana_la_Mad .

The SBM is crazy about electronic gadgets and expensive purchase any bullshit: 5 GPS, 2 electrical stimulation, 4 Roomba, 3 netbook, 2 decoder for digital terrestrial and a lot of phones. After the era of GSM has already had 3 and 5 HTC phones Samsung but their heel- Scrin did not like, and then took the iPhone, "Ming, as a phone but there is a mmerda except porn movies tiroseghe me in the toilet in the office. "

After bowing to lure Apple, however, the SBM would like the iPad.

But he does not want the iPad has designed as the Apple because Apple engineers, of course, do not understand a c * ZZO. If the iPad had designed him (which is cool) would sell at least twice and that she is:

Screen

• 3 Multi-Touch display backlit widescreen 15-inch (diagonal): an OLED (which is cool), an LCD (though HD/3D), a E-Ink (for outdoor reading, should learn).
• from 12000 lumen projector built
• all-repellent coating test fingerprints, scratches, acid, pizza

Connection

• UMTS / HSDPA (850, 1900, 2100MHz)
• GSM / EDGE (850, 900.1800, 1900MHz)
• Wi-Fi (802.11 a / b / g / n / z / x / y / w / ww / www)
• Bluetooth 8.0
• Infrarossi
• Ultrasuoni
• Telecinesi

Posizionamento e Sensori

• Accelerometro
• Sensore luce ambientale
• Videocamera frontale e posteriore
• Bussola digitale
• GPS
• Chiedo dove siamo al primo che passa

Capacità e Processore

• Memoria interna da 12 Terabyte (ma espandibile);
• Multicore, multithread, multi-multi da un fantastiliardo di Gigaerz (and counting)

I/O

• 16 porte USB, 4 Firewire, 2 HDMI, 4 SerialATA e 2 SCSI (Just in case), Serial and Parallel
• 30-pin dock connector
• stereo headphone jack 3.5 mm
• Integrated Speakers - Dolby 7.1 Surround
• directional stereo microphone
• universal memory card reader;
• DVD, CD, Floppy 3.25
• Barcode reader
• Fingerprint Reader
• braille reader

Battery and Power

• Polymer rechargeable battery atomic plutonium (up to 21 days of web browsing via Wi-Fi, video playback or audio playback) via instant interchangeable
• Reload:
• micro-power solar panel (included) works even in cloudy nights
• a USB 1.1 port of a Pentium 3
• off by the same USB iPad (auto-mode)

Software included

• Tom Tom navigator with the voice of DJ Angelo
• MS Office 2035
• Pussy - PokerOnline - Facebook
• universal emulator of the rest

All Titanium / bulletproof glass, surrounded by a force field that makes him invulnerable and with a beautiful physical keyboard extended, "... here you do not understand a caz * or where you put your fingers."

Price: 14$
 
Ma siccome a Cupertino non gli danno retta, l'iPad come è uscito dalla Apple è uno schifo e lui, cascasse il mondo, non lo comprerà mai e poi mai. Poi (giusto 12 ore dopo) ne vede uno in mano ad una persona che invidia e se lo compra.

Lo compra ma lo rompe, perché durante lo spacchettamento gli cade a terra (e smadonna). Poi litiga con il servizio clienti Apple che non vuole riconoscergli la riparazione in garanzia e quindi decide che non comprerà più un c*zzo dalla Apple finché vive.

Quindi esce di casa e ne compera un altro (però incazzatissimo).

Stavolta, facendo molta attenzione, riesce ad accenderlo senza romperlo. Ci gioca 2 giorni e poi si accorge che l'iPad non gli serve assolutamente a nulla (il SBM, oltre a non saper leggere non sa nemmeno scrivere), anzi, è triste perché con l'iPad guarda i filmi di Iutubb e vede un sacco di gente che ci fa figate incredibili mentre lui è riuscito solo a spendere 100 euro in app assolutamente inutili; allora gli viene una idea: «Minghia, faccio un filmato dove s h pacco l'iPad e divento famoso! Però non rompo l'iPad nuovo ma quello già rotto così magari vedo come è fatto interno ».
Allora chiama "a suo cuggino che c'ha la vid i ocamera" e fanno il filmato; ma si sbagliano e rompono l'iPad funzionante. Litiga e si sfancula con his cousin "who does not understand never a ca * zo" but then make peace, because "the important thing is health and that no one is hurt," then you are going to drink beer together (even ... if his cousin "s got a bit of cirrhosis).

However, his movie is seen by a lot of people and he is happy. A little 'less than a week later when people start to recognize him with the nickname: "Take that * he who broke the iPad", but so are all envious people.

With the new salary will buy another iPad (and also takes a rubber sole), but a week after Apple updates the series by entering the video camera and truly to him, his iPad non piace più.

E' triste, quindi si va a comperare un netbook da 599 euro (ma gli scivola via e lo rompe, etc.).